I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
