I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
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you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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