Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
