As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Boobs speak an international language.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Randomize
