Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
i've created a new STD.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
