I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
