so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
