Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
