He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize