Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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