i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
