Cold hands, warm shart.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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