Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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