My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
