I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
