I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
