Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
