I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
