Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
