I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I think a kid would responsible me up
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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