I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
He felt like a one man threesome
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
