What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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