I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
