Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
