epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize