Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
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the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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