I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Randomize
