I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
