I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
