She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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