are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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