I think I am morally bankrupt
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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