Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
