Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
