Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
