Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
