you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
