it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
