i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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