Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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