In America we eat man semen.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Randomize
