No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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