I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
