based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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