We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Ketchup is God's man juice
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Randomize
