It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
