he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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