So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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