They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
