We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
