She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
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