He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
