Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
