Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
