We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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