a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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