apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
