I'm really into asian looking animals
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
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