So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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