mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...