she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.