I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.